


Thestral

by citrusella



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (set before that episode), Corruption, Discussion of Death, Episode: s05e11 Lars of the Stars, Gen, creatures that are invisible except under certain circumstances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 13:23:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17305388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusella/pseuds/citrusella
Summary: "How many haveyouseen?""All of them." She answered without hesitation."Oh."Or: Pearl and Steven talk about a type of gem that corruption has given some... special characteristics.





	Thestral

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in late May. Thought about it recently and decided I wanted to put it up!

Pearl stepped gingerly into the house and looked up to the loft, where Steven glanced quickly from one thing to another, as if he was second-guessing his understanding of everything he saw.

"…Steven?"

He turned in her direction, his face wearing a look not unlike a spooked horse, before scuttling farther onto his bed, pressing himself against the wall much like the gem they'd just fought had defensively pressed herself against a piece of statue that had landed on the beach too long ago for any human to recall.

She froze, unsure for a moment, before cautiously heading up and sitting carefully on the edge of his bed. He was quiet for a few minutes, neither uttering anything of substance nor moving from his spot on the other side, but eventually something gave and he scooted to her side. It was several more minutes still before he spoke.

"Why could I see the one we fought now but not this morning? Are—aren't…" he rubbed a finger against the denim of his jeans, "don't gems that are the same type look about the same when they're…" he trailed off, the end of his sentence understood.

Pearl twiddled her thumbs, deep in thought. "I… um…"

Steven looked her square in the eyes, silently pleading for an answer, any answer. She continued.

Her voice was low. Almost monotone. "…What did you do? In between, I mean."

"I just—" his voice became even quieter than it had already been since she'd come to talk to him, "I... went to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Barriga to get some things for Lars. Everything was so… it felt… I don't know. I told them a few weeks ago about what happened, but after I got the stuff they wanted to give to him, I… I guess I feel different now. Like, they got a lot of his favorite things and they wrote him letters—I didn't look at them," he said, the aside tumbling out quickly as if even _thinking_ of what might be in the mail was a federal offense, "but they acted like…"

Steven grew silent for more than a few moments. He didn't have to say the next part.

_Like he'd died._

Pearl opened her mouth to—

"…I saw him die. And maybe it's confusing since I guess he did actually die—but… it didn't _feel_ like he died, you know? At least not before. It was like he was gone and… that was really… _really_ scary… but then all of a sudden he wasn't gone anymore. He wasn't dead. But… maybe he still is? Even if he's not? I don't know; this is all so—"

"Um." She hadn't meant to interrupt him, but her stray utterance had stopped him in his tracks, so she opted to continue.

"When the corruption happened, the Pearls, they—" Pearl clasped her hands and looked down at her knees. "When a Pearl corrupts, she's difficult—or impossible, rather—to see—"

"…Like that gem Sadie helped me get bubbled on Mask Island?" His lips pursed; that gem hadn't been a Pearl.

"Well, no, not exactly. That gem is always invisible, but… for Pearls, it's different. It can change. You can… see her if you deeply understand what she did or who she was before she became corrupted. But for most Pearls, that's not—other gems don't—it's… almost like the worst final blow Homeworld could inflict on a Pearl." She let the end of the sentence rest on the room before continuing.

"The Pearl from this morning? With the bronze-shaded gem?" Steven gave a nod in response. "Garnet and I could see her because she… well, she tried to do something… _important_ for our side at the end of the war. We didn't know her, but that didn't matter—we know and understand what she did for us and why she did it. Even Amethyst couldn't see her, and we thought maybe—…well, perhaps you had to… be there."

"But what does that have to do with the one I saw?"

Pearl sighed.

"I knew her."

"What?"

"The Pearl we fought. She was in the rebellion." She seemed to look far ahead of herself for a moment, remembering much further back than any human presently around possibly could. "I didn't know every Pearl on our side, of course—even if many of them saw me as some sort of… role model, I guess you'd say—but I knew her. She was…"

It was Pearl's turn to grow quiet for a moment. Steven pursed his lips as she continued.

"Back on Homeworld, her… master oversaw and kept records of… shatterings." Pearl's hand clenched. "Her master delegated most of the recordkeeping to her, of course. Thought it was too grunt-work for her rank." She almost snorted at the irony of rejecting one's purpose yet working to fight people who were doing the same. "When the war started and they came to earth, Pearl joined our side. She opted not to fight, so she kept her old job—she reported casualties, kept records of our… dead. …Gem _and_ human."

Almost spontaneously, Steven reached his arms around Pearl and enveloped her in a hug. She reached her hand down to pat his hair, looking at the top of his head with downcast eyes as she spoke lowly.

"You may not have ever known her, but because of what happened on Homeworld—"

He pulled away from Pearl. "I saw her because… because it _feels_ like Lars died now." He folded his hands uncomfortably-yet-somehow-more-relaxed in his lap.

"Well, yes, I suppose that's the simplest way to put it."

He remained quiet for a spell.

"…Pearl? This feels… something about it feels wrong."

Pearl's mouth formed a solemn, almost-sarcastic smile. "I'd be concerned if you thought it felt right. This is," she cut herself off, her face falling (not that it had far to go), "nothing about this is right. This, the corruption, what happened on Homeworld… I—" Her hands flew to her mouth, her body tensing— _not_ now, _**please**_ —she willed herself to relax and just… stop thinking of what she was going to say as much as she could and…

She placed her hands in her lap.

It had passed quickly enough that Steven hadn't noticed.

She'd wanted to add something, anything, but even just the fleeting lack of control she had over her own body was enough to give her pause, for fear of it happening again and Steven seeing and her having to find some way, _any_ way to explain herself and—

"How many have _you_ seen?"

"All of them." She answered without hesitation.

"Oh."

Waves crashed outside. Seagulls squawked. Neither being on the bed said anything for a very long time. In a way, there wasn't much _to_ be said.

Finally, Steven lowered himself off the bed.

"I…"

He sighed.

"Maybe… if mom hadn't—" Steven stopped. "I'll… be downstairs." He turned to leave.

Pearl covered her mouth with her left hand.

No.

This wasn't Rose's fault.

It was _hers_.


End file.
